People generally like it if someone is possessive or jealous for them as it makes them feel highly desired. Right. Yeah. But do you think with this mindset the desire of love can be fulfilled?
I realised it three days before that I had the same mindset when I found some whatsapp chats of my man with his ex. It really felt bad as if he used to belong to her, and now he’s mine. And now as he is again talking to her, am I going to be deserted?
A healthy going relationship just get more embarrassing when I took the step to talk to her directly. I didn’t make it only worst but put it on the edge of the end.
It happened in a blink of eye that I didn’t even find time to put a second thought onto it.
And then I realised that I’m too afraid of losing him, which means I don’t think I’m enough of a catch for him to want to stay committed to me. Why I felt so insecure?
You must love in such a way that the person you love feels free – Thich Naht Hanh
This scenario made me learn that people aren’t objects. They are not for control or for owing. They are free to do whatever they want to do. Because the person that is being controlled is bound to feel either scared or resentful.
Why Freedom is Necessary in Love?
We all wish for freedom and I guess it is the greatest longing we have. But when we love someone, we tend to bound them, we create boundaries to prevent their escape from us. We live in fear of losing them and that's the worst thing we can do to the people we love.
We are forgetting that freedom is an essential part of love. Without freedom love can never grow because nobody wants to be a slave, doesn't matter how much love he or she is getting.
If Love is a circle then freedom is its centre.
This freedom is only possible when one knows that he is a complete self and realizes that nobody on this earth is here to complete him. When one knows that he is not bound to anyone when he truly knows oneself.
How to Give Freedom in love?
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If you struggle with loving yourself fully, try giving the person you love complete freedom. And if you think that you cannot do it, try giving yourself complete freedom.
How empowering would that feel? Do you what is real happiness?
What excuses are you now going to drop about yourself?
What is your new standard of excellence?
How are you treating yourself and thinking of yourself after giving yourself the greatest gift you could ever bestow on anyone?
If you take the chains off yourself, the chains you burdened others with automatically go because the way you love others is just as reflection of how you love yourself.
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In today’s world, freedom is our basic condition, and until we learn to live with that freedom, and learn to live by ourselves and with ourselves, we are denying ourselves the possibility of finding love and happiness with someone else.
Love can only happen through freedom and in conjunction with a deep respect for ourselves and the other. Is it possible to be alone and not lonely? Where are the boundaries that define “lust” versus “love”...and can lust ever grow into love? In Love, Freedom, and Aloneness you will find unique, radical, and intelligent perspectives on these and other essential questions. In our post-ideological world, where old moralities are out of date, we have a golden opportunity to redefine and revitalize the very foundations of our lives. We have the chance to start afresh with ourselves, our relationships to others, and to find fulfillment and success for the individual and for society as a whole.
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