There are days in life when you don't know what's wrong. You try to figure out why you feeling not good without any reason but do not arrive at any conclusion. In this article I will discuss how you can comfort yourself when you have no idea about your feelings.
It’s an era for setting expectations not only to people but also to our emotions. Not kidding. We set expectations for how we think we should feel or how we’re allowed to feel in a given moment. “But it’s good to decide how we should feel”, you say. No, it isn’t. Setting expectations for how you should feel takes away your ability to feel through the complexities of being human.
Human is made up of emotions. Not one but all sorts of emotions – happy, sad, joyous, jealous, angry etc. Whole enjoying all these emotions there comes a feeling of not feeling good at all without any reason. It’s one of those days when you have happy plans, delicious food, bunch of good ideas but for whatever reason you don’t feel good.
Psychologists are doing day and night research to understand the working of mind. But no matter how much science is thrown in front of you, some days you won’t ever know what’s wrong and you give yourself permission for that to be okay.
How to comfort yourself when you don’t know what’s wrong?
Here are some things you can try
Understand that feeling confused about your emotions is common
It’s pretty common to feel upset and not really knowing what is wrong. You may not even know whether you are worried or depressed or something else. You have some ideas, but you can’t quite put the puzzle pieces together. Worse yet, you don’t know where to start.
Start with the understanding, you are a human and humans feel emotions whatever emotion it is – sad one, happy one or you don’t know what one. So it’s common to be confused how you’re feeling. It doesn’t mean that there’s something wrong with you.
Summary
Stop analysing your circumstances
Stop trying to find why you feeling so.
Stop thinking that there’s something wrong with you.Acknowledge your emotions
Whenever a feeling of sadness hits, you feel like “oh, no, no, I don’t want to be upset” or “what's this feeling, let’s call friends home so I can avoid this feeling” or “oh this feeling! Let’s bump onto the motivational quotes to bring some positivity”
I get you. You don’t want to feel the way you are feeling. Nobody wants to feel confused about their emotions. But worse you can do is to avoid that emotion by gossiping, shopping, playing indoors or outdoors.
These things are okay if you want to get momentarily comfort but after some time these emotions will come back. So it becomes essential acknowledging your emotions before you go to catch your friends, or watch funny videos, or put your headphones on to listen music, watch Netflix or anything revelling in the joys of escapism.
Acknowledging the uncomforting doesn’t mean you have to agree to them. It means you see them. Accept that some emotions are there which you do not know why and think of them as clouds passing by in the sky. Acknowledging them without immediately reacting to them, you can create a freely flow of emotions through you. The minute you say “no” to a feeling, an obstacle appears in the middle of your mental stream. It becomes harder to let things go and move forward.
Summary
Stop suppressing your feelings
Stop avoiding what you experiencing with trivial things
Acknowledge that you are feeling these emotions
Give permission to yourself to feel what you feeling
Connect with your Emotions
All emotions start with a physical sensation. Meaning, whether you know or not what’s happening to you, you can be aware of the emotion because it’s affects you physically.
Simply pay attention to the sensations in your body. Start with your toes and work your way up your legs and torso to the top of your head. Go slowly, observing any sensations, such as churning in your stomach, tension in your chest, or the welling of tears in your eyes. Do not try to do anything with these sensations. Do not try to control or analyse. Just be aware. Stay with them. If they shift or change, be aware of that.
So it’s easy to connect with your emotions even if you don’t know why you feeling so. It’s like breathing and letting your emotions flow. If it seems difficult to you, Meditation can be a great help.
Connecting with your feelings needs you to connect with yourself- to know your inner self. You can learn the ways to discover your inner self. However, if this becomes too difficult, you can always ask for help. Sometimes all we need is support to reconnect with our emotions.
Summary
Connect with your emotions by watching sensation in your body
Practice Meditation
Ground yourself by walking on the grass or in nature.Watch your Emotions
If you are worried about not able to explain your emotions will make it difficult to pass them, then it’s good to allow your emotions without becoming overwhelmed by watching them as a second person without distracted with unwanted thoughts (As in Spirituality). In this way, you can feel your emotions, but you also keep some distance.
As you practice this, attend to new insights about your struggles. You might realize that you have particular emotions that you have tried to comfort once with overeating or drugs or shopping. Or, you might realize how emotionally numb or disconnected you have become from your body.
Summary
Pay attention to your emotions as an observer
Learn to examine your mind
Do not get distracted with other thoughtsOn the last note, if you're feeling confused about your feelings and don't have any clue of what's wrong then repeat these steps mentioned above as necessary until you sense that you have a better grasp of what’s wrong. This new insight is a worthy accomplishment, even as it is the start of a new journey toward healing.
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