May 1, 20216 min read

What is Body shaming? How to deal with someone who body shames you?

Updated: Jun 1, 2021

People are so concern about their body that when they hear words like 'you are so fat’, ‘you should probably try gain some weight’, ‘your parents won’t give you food or what?’ , ‘your top is too short for your belly looks gross’ and so and so, they feel embarrassed or humiliated within themselves. And this is where body shaming starts.

What is Body Shaming?

Body shaming is defined as being ‘inappropriate, negative statements and attitudes toward another person’s weight or size’. But, it is so much more than just that. It is same as bullying, harassment and humiliation. It is the act or practice of negatively judging someone based on their physical appearance. Typically, people are body shamed when they appear overweight or underweight or don’t fit society’s view of “thin and beautiful”.

Watch the video on how you can stop sabotaging your own self

From where Body Shaming is taking place?

The idea of having a perfect body shape is your own creation. It’s you only who appreciate people with curvy figures and judge them for their flat breast size. It’s you who would interestingly open an article telling you how can you get a “bikini body” as if putting a bikini on your present day body wouldn’t qualify as a bikini body.

These kinds of messages can seem so normal that you don’t realize the message you're receiving and telling yourselves is that your bodies aren’t good enough as they are.

The pictures, articles, videos, blogs, and vlogs today, are endlessly feeding you messages about how you should look. How many times a day do you see a magazine offering you tips about how to lose weight ‘in days’, appear slimmer ‘instantly’, and hide your ‘imperfections’…

While people have been feeling embarrassed to join family gatherings, friends get together, parties because of the subtle body shaming comments by their friends or relatives, the social media platforms such as Instagram, Twitter, and Facebook have brought it to an all-time high. With millions of users signing-on each day, social media platforms has opened the door for individuals and companies to share unrealistic expectations of an ideal body. Technology has made the focus on appearance easier and given way to a platform that invites body shaming and bullying more frequently.

Young girls today are not only being exposed to certain beauty standards on social media platform but also being propel to follow the cultural ideas of womanhood or perfect womanism. This internalisation of body shaming in social media hangs heavy on the minds of teenagers that can lead to plethora of psychological as well as physical problems.

“Keyboard courage” plays a key role in making hurtful and derogatory comments toward others online. It is easy to shame someone when behind a screen, making them feel inadequate. Posting body-shaming comments to those they know and don’t know, leaves individuals feeling as if there are no repercussions for their words.

How does body shaming affects your life?

When you are being judged for your body size or weight you start feeling like you are not accepted by others. Sometimes, it can be internal too. You start self-shaming. You start withdrawing from social situations. You keep shaming yourself because you think you aren’t like the girls in the magazines.

When it comes to dating and mating in this complex world, one’s body shame can greatly impact their experience. It contributes to low self-esteem, which impacts who you choose, how you expect to be treated, what kinds of boundaries you have, and how you treat others. Also, it impacts your ability to be vulnerable, intimate, and to experience pleasure. Body shame, and not body weight, can be a barrier to love and connection.

Changing your body might seem like the only answer. And from here you start reluctance to eating. Or start the use of weight lose substances like diet pills, caffeine or cigarettes. You start wearing clothes that hide your appearance. You start commenting on other people’s appearance. And all you left with ‘if only’. “If only I could be thinner, leaner, stronger, or bigger, I’d feel great”. Maybe you would, in some ways. I like to call these our “if only’s,” which are the false beliefs that if only we could reach some (often unattainable) goal, everything would change.

Unfortunately, you do reach their “if only,” only to find that it wasn’t the answer to all of your pain and problems. More often than not, healing these painful wounds takes a different kind of change. Usually, healing body shame takes changing internally, not externally.

Watch Sadhguru on 'Don't bother your beauty, complexion and figure

How to deal with body shaming?

As I mentioned that it’s you who are responsible for body shaming. It’s you who believe it when people say bad about your body or weight. Your feeling of ‘being humiliated' over judgement by others who don’t even know you proves that you have something wrong with you.

I can’t magically grant body peace to you, but I can help you build self-acceptance, by encouraging you: come as you are!”

Without even knowing you, I know that your worth is much more than that shows on the outside. Then why are you detesting yourself because someone else is not comfortable?

Remember, there is no perfect size God has made for humans (or say God has made everyone perfect, Do you think God, a Supreme Power can make mistakes?). Humans do not come in one size. Everyone has different body type, size and weight. So you do not need to get upset over your size. There’s no such thing as a “one size fits all” body type that’s right for everyone. Sweetheart, you do not need to copy the routine of those magazine celebs to change your body to a bikini body. Each body is unique. Therefore, learn to live authentically. Learn to be yourself. Learn to accept yourself. Learn to love your body. Learn to love yourself.

But it’s not easy to love your body without knowing your inner self or true self that can accessed through Meditation and introspection. Meditation gives you the power to erase shame, helps you pay attention to yourself and take away all your guilt for the body. Know what is Meditation and How it is beneficial to your mental and physical health.

It takes a lot of Self-Awareness to get that compassion and acceptance for your body. It only knowing your true self that your negative patterns of thinking for yourself can come to surface. And you will see that it’s not people that are commenting or judging you but their insecurities and your mind that making you believe that the person is saying right. 6 easy ways to discover your inner self.

One thing to remember here that self acceptance and to have love for your body doesn’t mean that you can’t still work toward health goals. However, when you work toward those goals with love, support, and compassion for yourself, you’re more likely to get there, and you’re definitely going to be happier along the way and beyond those goals. Feeling better about your body may seem far away for some of you; impossible even. Read the ultimate guide to be perfect.

Just few tips (not for weight losing or gaining. Lol)

Intentionally surround yourself with messages that promote body-acceptance and self-love.
Follow body-positive Instagram feeds, Facebook pages, and Twitter feeds. Unsubscribe the feeds that promote fitspo, weight loss, weight gain, bulk up, or slim down can be healthy.
When you assume that you can’t feel better about yourself as you are and insist that none of the tips in this article can work for you, and therapy won’t help either, and so on, it will not work at all.
Stop finding ways to hide yourself. Stop covering yourself with extra clothes, stop sitting in the back of a room full of people, or stop being silent when you have things to say.
Sometimes you’re unaware of what you’re doing to yourself when you put yourself down. So understand and stop your inner critic.
Stop talking negative about yourself. Use compassionate, positive language when you talk to yourself.
See and think of yourself as a whole person, not a collection of specific body parts.
Your body has survived a lifetime of events so far. Think about what your body does for you, instead of what you wish it did for you. Be thankful to your body rather than judging it.
Celebrate the uniqueness of your natural body shape and size.
Understand that a person’s physical appearance says very little about their character and value as a person.
Feel comfortable and confident in your body, and avoid worrying about food, weight, and counting calories.
Stand tall and naturally carry yourself with a sense of confidence and self-acceptance that makes you beautiful and attractive regardless of your weight, size, or shape.