How many times have you screwed things up and felt guilty about it later? No count.
Guilt is one of the most complicated emotions you experience as humans. It can eat away at you causing you crucial suffering. Many of you feel unnecessarily guilty about everything. The layers of guilt weigh you down and prevent you from living a joyful life.
Dragging around guilt and self-criticism is unhealthy and is utterly pointless, not to mention boring. Feeling guilty or bad about yourself won’t make you a better person but a sadder one.
Remember, you have screwed up many times in the past. And don’t know more you are about to do again in future. It’s obvious. Isn’t it. Aren’t we human beings are capable enough to make mistakes. Yeah! We born with the ability to make spectacular mistakes. So, don’t worry. You’re not alone who is screwing up here. It’s not your special skill. Everyone has that skill. Get over it.
Here are the 9 empowering ways to let go of guilt.
1. Explore the source
The very first thing you need to do while dealing with guilt is to recognise where it is coming from.
It’s natural to feel guilty when you know you’ve done something wrong, but guilt can also origin in response to incidents you didn’t have much, or anything, to do with. Admitting to mistakes is crucial, even if you only acknowledge them to yourself. It’s equally important, nonetheless, to take note when you unnecessarily accuse yourself of things you can’t control.
People constantly experience guilt over things they can’t be belittled for. You might feel guilty about breaking up with someone who still cares about you, or because you have a good job but your friend can’t seem to find work.
Guilt can also arise from the belief that you’ve failed to fulfil expectations you or others have established. Of course, this guilt doesn’t reflect the effort you’ve put in to overcome the challenges keeping you from attaining those goals.
2. Ask yourself important questions
You must assess the guilt you feel. Does it even make reasonable sense to feel guilty? Know that not every emotion is logical.
Once you examine the problem you might understand it doesn’t make sense to have feelings of guilt. An example of this is feeling guilty about a situation you had no control over.
Some questions you might want to ask yourself are:
What happened? Was my attitude intentional? Does it make sense to feel guilty about what happened? Is feeling guilty about the situation reasonable? Is there a more useful way to look at the problem?
3.Take action
Guilt can perform as a warning that lets you know when you’ve brought about a choice that clashes with your integrity. Instead of allowing it to dominate you, try settling it.
When used as a method, guilt can throw light on areas of yourself you feel unhappy with. Maybe you strive with goodness and someone finally caught you in a lie. Maybe you want to spend more time at your home, but something always gets in the way. Taking action to deal with those situations can set you in a direction that’s more in line with your purposes.
If you feel guilty for not spending sufficient time with friends, you might make extra effort to engage. When tension diverts you from your connection, you might boost the relationship by committing one night a week to your partner.
It’s also worth paying attention to what guilt tells you about yourself.
Regret over hurting someone indicates that you have empathy and didn’t intend to cause pain. Creating a difference in your life, then, might pertain to focusing on ways to avert making that mistake again.
4. Accept what has happened
No matter how much you visit the past and whip yourself up about the circumstance, it will not change what has already happened. Accept that the past is in history.
Take accountability for your actions, make amends if necessary, and make decent choices moving ahead. That is a healthful way to handle the situation.
Guilt is a considerably harmful emotion, so it is important to let it go.
5. Apologise if necessary
When you hurt somebody, it can sometimes be difficult to ask forgiveness. This might be because you’re feeling embarrassed, and this is normal and very common.
But there is no need to tread in guilt. If you think that you can rectify the problem by apologizing, then it might be a good solution. You may not get the results that you want, but the individual you hurt will see that you’re attempting to fix your mistake. That can go a long way.
6. Forgive yourself for your mistakes
Get clear on this one truth: guilt, shame, and self-criticism is some of the most destructive forces in your life, which is why forgiving yourself is one of the most powerful. Here’s an excellent way to do it:
Think of that particular thing that you did and you feel bad about. Think of it in your mind and feel it in your body. While thinking of it say to yourself: “Holding on to my bad feelings about this is doing nothing but harming me, and everyone else, and preventing me from enjoying my life fully. I am an awesome person. I choose to enjoy my life. I choose to let this go. I choose to forgive myself.”
Repeat this over and over and feel what you’re saying. Repeat this until you feel a sense of freedom and lightness around your issue.
It may take a day or a week or several months or it could happen right away. But however long it takes, do it, because if you want to be free, you have to put in the time.
7. Recognize the purpose of your guilt
Guilt helps people develop and grow after displaying improper or unbearable behaviour. It always acts as an alarm with an objective — to tell you to alter your attitude or risk losing something or someone.
For example, let's say you feel guilty for consuming five confectionary chocolates in one day. This feeling is your brain’s way of notifying you that your behaviour is absurd, probably self-destructive, and can damage your health.
If you understand the objective of your guilt, you can try to change your behaviour.
8. Look positively on being Guilty
While guilt is a tough emotion to encounter it can also be beneficial. It’s an indication to us that our activities are out of alignment with our value, which motivates us to take favourable action.
Guilt helps us improving and maintain social connections, learn from our mistakes, and take correctional action. In this way, it’s a proactive emotion.
9. Remember no one is perfect
Even those who seem to be perfect are not. Striving to be perfect in any way is obvious to direct to failure.
Everyone makes mistakes, and many people do things that sometimes lead to feelings of guilt and embarrassment.
Admit your mistake and acknowledge that you’re human without spending days, weeks, or months accusing yourself because you “should have” understood.
Guilt is a feeling that brings you a critical message. But know that not every feeling, and not every guilty feeling, is reasonable.
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