I don't think there is someone who has gone through life without being utterly humiliated, a feeling rises when someone has purposely put you down or make you look sinful in the eyes of others.
I doubt if someone has not seen a particular student in the school gets humiliated by teachers. Not only in school but in our friend circles we have glimpsed of the humiliation of particular friend by others in the group. And so we see in our organisations, loose talks of manager, rude behaviour of boss for the employee.
How does it feel to be humiliated?
The feeling of getting humiliated is the worst feeling I have ever encounter. If I talk about my experience, it makes me feel like crying. However I strive to not to cry but at last, I cry every time this situation comes.
Though your experience might be different from mine, the feeling remains the same, the feeling of being helpless and confused.
Being humiliated not only embarrass but brings about a feeling like been stabbed into the heart.
Being humiliated at the workplace by high authority sometimes gives rise to a wish of disappearing or flushing out. In my case, I just want to hide or to sink into the floor whenever feel humiliated.
The feeling makes people feel degraded, deficient or diminished. And so make them unable to take any action.
And this experience always remains fresh in their minds of the victim.
If this has ever happened to you, you know these feelings. And you might still sometimes think about what you could have done at the moment, or after, to avoid that.
What causes people to make you belittle?
Making someone embarrassing or guilty goes in two way:
Either one has done something really stupid that makes the other person intolerant or
The person is miserable and has a nature of talking down to you or others on a regular basis.
If first is the case and you feel regretful for that and want to go back to make it right then remember sometimes it does happen. Now it is a good idea to think about what you can do in order to protect yourself and my advice is to learn from the mistake you have already made and do not try to repeat it.
You don't have to ask forgiveness, take the responsibility, or counterattack, all of which can bounce back at the moment. You just need to listen, understand and adapt it with an optimistic mind.
Listen
If you think that the other person has a good reason to be annoyed with you and what he or she is yelling about is just his or her reaction to the action you have made then it's good to listen to the person, to understand what triggered them.
Understand their point of view
Listening can help you to understand their situation, and you can then work jointly to find a solution. By all means, take their point of view into account, while making it clear that you don't want a repetition of their words or actions.
Learn and adapt
By understanding the point of view of another person, their mood, their behaviour, you should learn and adopt the ways that do not provoke anger or anxiety in them. Let them know that you not gonna make that mistake again.
Be clear
No matter what you’ve done wrong, No one has the right to humiliate you. Definitely, you must take the responsibility for any errors you made, but it shouldn't give permission to others to make you feel unworthy. You must not accept to be denigrated by someone else.
And if it is the second case and someone wants you to be humiliated or ashamed, or someone is trying to make you feel guilty about yourself, then it's their problem, not yours.
To this, as I said before, no matter what you have done you do not deserve to be humiliated- no, never.
But you need to handle this situation also with positivity, with dignity and respect. You should never hurt the feelings of another person because everyone deserves to be respected.
Understand the situation
For the very first try to put yourself in the shoes of the person who humiliated you. Perhaps they also feel guilty to belittle you even when they refuse to confess it or that they were hurt that they let off what they did to you.
Recognise your role in the situation
Recognising your role in the situation is necessary as it helps you to get out of it. Ask yourself, did you do something which can provoke the other person to counter the way they did.
Note the feeling that entails
Ask yourself what were the feelings that develop. Were these resentment, grief, fear, or shame? Write them down.
Be positive
You need to understand what you can learn from this situation and also to remind you to do better in behaving toward others.
Even if you think their behaviour was unnecessary, let your accomplishment speak for you. Show them how valuable you are.
At last, I would say that don't take everything personally, don’t overestimate other's interest in you. They already forgot and take their own lives and goals more seriously.
Be nice, be correct, holding your head up and it will work out, I am sure.
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