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Writer's pictureKhushboo Chaudhary

3 Easy Ways to Deal With Feeling Unwanted and Unloved.

Updated: Mar 19, 2021

“You strangely attract people who align with your soul just by being who you are, genuine people that is the law of attraction.”


If you have ever feel unwanted or unloved you must be aware of how far the wounds go with you, the wounds of being unworthy. You must be aware of how feeling unwanted has changed you and your behaviour with others


The worst kind of experience you can have is a feeling of being unwanted by the person you want the most. You feel anger and pain about how a person takes your love and trust and throws it like nothing as if you don’t matter to them.


If you have ever feel unwanted or unloved you must be aware of how far the wounds go with you, the wounds of being unworthy. You must be aware of how feeling unwanted has changed you and your behaviour with others. The thoughts like these become your best friends;


“I Am Not Worth It”

“I am flawed and therefore a bad person.”

“I must change or fix something about myself to be acceptable.”

“I am unlovable,” and

“I am irreparably broken.”



This is just one aspect, this is not about a specific person but sometimes you feel unwanted by almost everyone – a family member or a friend. You feel that absolutely no one loves you. You feel like people are insensitive and don’t understand you.


Whatever the reason your feeling of being unwanted has, it can only be solved by understanding these little things.



1. It might be your old wounds that compelled you to feel unwanted


Sometimes it’s not the other person that makes you feel unwanted but your own deepest seated wounds that you have been carrying for a long time – from the time of your first breakup at a young age of from childhood when you didn’t receive enough attention or care from your parents.


For this, you need to understand that losing and mourning over that loss is natural to show your grief but revisiting those memories is unhealthy. Dwelling onto your past is of no benefit but self destructive. Remember the more you victimize yourself and romanticize your pain, the more you will stuck in that.



And to overcome that you have to understand that it is possible to fill your emptiness yourself. People can only provide you support but they can not make you exactly feel the way you want. Only you can do that. And self-love is the ultimate way to overcome this trauma. The only way to get over this is to explore your deepest wounds with love and compassion and let them go.



2. It might you not be able to understand the love of people or their way of expressing love is quite different


Sometimes people misunderstand love. It happens that a person does love you but you are unable to see it supports you within yourself. To realize if someone wants you to look at little things they do for you like they prepare food for you, give you a little bit or more of their time (setting some time aside for you by someone is a big deal), they listen with keen interest what you have to say (important or unimportant), and not only listen but they also try to help you, they try to be present with you at the moment. These all are the things that show how much someone cares for you.


So try to look at the little things rather than thinking of the feeling unwanted and unloved.




3. If both above mentioned are not the case


If the above two mentioned cases are not fit with your feeling then there is only one thing you must do. Get rid of the thing or person that is making you feel that way. Get rid of attachments. Just detach, reflect on yourself, there is love in abundance inside of you. There are people you haven’t met who will love you. You need to change your glasses. Just clean them a bit, and then try looking at this world from a different perspective.


This isn’t going to be easy as you will feel uneasy and anxious but remember you can do it. Know that uneasiness is normal. Think of how long it took you to get comfortable with the person who made you feel unwanted. Time is our only commodity; you deserve to feel wanted.





Conclusion


Stop trying. Stop knocking at the wrong door, it will not open. Stop looking for love, friends, company or whatever. Stop attaching yourself. Stop draining yourself. Stop asking people to talk to you. Stop giving too much value to people. You do not have to do all that hard work and lose yourself in the process of valuing people too much. Stop seeking. Stop everything.


Stop making countless efforts. Relax. Be yourself. Have a level of detachment. Do your work. Focus on the things that make you happy. Start giving without expecting anything in return. Enjoy the moment. Enjoy the experience. Show appreciation. Stop begging, demanding or coercing to be loved. Stop looking for love in the wrong places. Your soul will automatically attract people who blend with you, who ‘get’ you. You will eventually end up at the right door, then. Guess what, you wouldn’t be required to even knock at it. The door was already seeking you.




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