Grief is an irresistible sadness with feelings of distress. There will be turmoil of sentiment. The pain, despair and suffering are very real and can be weakening. This article talks about the meaning of grief and how you can cope up with the different stages of grieving.
What does grief mean?
· Grief is the body’s response to any uncomfortable, drastic emotional trauma in life.
· Grief is an overwhelming sadness with feelings of despair.
· Grief is the heart’s craving for something loved and lost.
There can be many definitions of grief given in dictionaries, with many factors. It is universal. At some point in everyone’s life, there will be at least one encounter with grief. It may be the death of a loved one, the loss of a job, the end of a relationship, or any other change that alters life as you know it.
Grief is also very personal. Everyone grieves differently, but there are some commonalities in the stages and the order of feelings experienced during grief.
What are the Five Stages of Grief?
The five stages of grief are:
• denial
• anger
• bargaining
• depression
• acceptance
Denial
Denying your grief is a common defence tool and helps numb you to the intensity of the situation. For example, your denial of feeling sad of losing job, or not accepting the death of a loved one, or denying the sorrow you felt after breakup.
However, the emotions you can hide, but will begin to rise soon. You’ll met face to face with a lot of sorrow you’ve denied. That is also part of the journey of grief, but it can be difficult.
Anger
Anger is a masking effect you use sometimes hiding grief behind your anger. And this anger may be turned at other people, such as the person who departed, your ex, or your boss and sometimes even at inanimate objects. For example, hating and cursing your ex, angering on the person who died for not taking care of themselves.
And as the anger subsides, you may start to think more rationally about what’s going on and feel the emotions you’ve been dragging aside.
Bargaining
During grief it is common that you look for ways to regain control and therefore you may find yourself cultivating a lot of “what if” and “if only” statements.
Often people find themselves making deals or promises to God or a higher power in return for cure or relief from the grief and pain. This is bargaining stage of grief which is also a line of defence against the emotions of grief. It helps you suspend the sadness, confusion, or hurt.
Depression
Depression is like a “quiet” stage of grief. In the early stages of loss, you may be escaping from the emotions, trying to stay away from sorrow. But, in depressing stage, you embrace the sadness. You may choose to isolate yourself from others in order to fully cope with the loss.
In this stage, you don’t want to go ahead, you felt void losing people or job and it becomes difficult to step forward.
Acceptance
In this stage you accept what has happened and come to understand what it means in your life now. For example, admitting a breakup as your healthy choice or acknowledging the good day memories of a dead person.
Acceptance period can make you feel very different. That’s entirely expected. You’ve had a major change in your life, and that upends the way you feel about many things. Look to acceptance as a way to see that there may be more good days than bad, but there may still be bad — and that’s OK.
How to cope with five stages of grief?
Not everyone experiences all these five stages, and you also may not go through them in this order. You may begin coping with loss in the bargaining stage and find yourself in anger or denial next. You may remain for months in one of the five stages but skip others entirely. Therefore, learning to cope with all these five stages is essential in order to overcome the grief.
Take your time
Your pain is unique to you, your connection to the person you lost is unique, and the emotional processing can feel varied to each person. It is acceptable for you to take the time you need and remove any expectation of how you should be doing as you process your grief.
Take care of yourself
When you’re grieving, it’s more important than ever to take care of yourself. The anxiety of a major loss can quickly weaken your energy and emotional reserves. Looking after your physical and emotional needs will help you get through this difficult time.
Face your feelings
You can try to repress your grief, but you can’t resist it forever. In order to recover, you have to understood the pain. Trying to avoid feelings of despair and loss only extendss the grieving process.
Express your feelings
Write about your grief in a journal. If you’ve lost a loved one, write a letter explaining the things you never got to say; or get involved in a cause or group that was important to your loved one.
Try to maintain your hobbies and interests
There’s comfort in routine and getting back to the activities that bring you joy and connect you closer to others can help you come to terms with your loss and aid the grieving process.
Don’t let anyone tell you how to feel
Your grief is your own, and no one else can tell you when it’s time to “move on” or “get over it.” Let yourself feel whatever you feel without guilt or judgment. It’s okay to be angry, to yell at the heavens, to cry or not to cry. It’s also okay to laugh, to find moments of joy, and to let go when you’re ready.
Plan ahead for grief triggers
Anniversaries, holidays, and milestones can reawaken memories and feelings. Be prepared for an emotional strike, and know that it’s fully normal. If you’re sharing a vacation with other relatives, talk to them ahead of time about their goals and agree on strategies to honour the person you loved.
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