Criticism refers to good and awful evaluation or judgment that is based on certain standards. It influences our values. This can show up not just in our careers, but in every area of our lives. However, you can avoid naysayers from infiltrating your awesomeness with their opinions.
You can handle criticism effectively and as I always say that every emotion and experience you feel takes place to make you know yourselves and thus how you handle and use criticism tells you more about yourselves. Handling criticism is a skill, and like any skill, it can be developed through practice.
It’s important to understand that it’s also a process. You may have heard of the phases of grief –starting with panic and denial, going through resentment, bargaining, anxiety, and ultimately, if the process is allowed to run its lesson, leading to acceptance – a place from which to move forward. Something similar happens when we receive criticism, and handling it well means acknowledging the process and having a useful response at each step. You can read How Focusing On The Process Helps Gain More In Life.
1. Watch the Critic’s Intention Honestly
No one is perfect; thus, listen to the negative feedback objectively. Believing in your strengths and weaknesses could help you to approach criticism with an open mind to be able to comprehend the difference. For instance, someone may tell you to sip your tea quietly or go back to your desk. That comment may seem aggressive at first. However, if you evaluate it positively, you will realize that the individual could be dealing with their issues. That means that they are not against you as an individual.
2. Assess if the Feedback provided is Constructive or Destructive
Think about whether the feedback is coming from someone who cares about you, references an area you want to improve in, or specifies how to get better. However, your reaction to criticism should vary depending on its intention. It’s important to take stock of the people in your life who will want the best for you. If they do, then criticism should be a dialogue. If you prefer a different style of communication, let someone know. Therefore, react based on the intention of the criticism and after taking stock of those who love you. View their comment as a dialogue and if you don’t like it let them know how you feel about it.
3. Show Gratitude to those who Offer Constructive Criticism
Thank every person who offers you meaningful feedback, for they want you to succeed. Although it may hurt to know what you did wrong, understand their motives, and thank them.
4. Control Your Emotions when Handling Constructive Criticism
Refrain from exploding when you receive criticism even when it mean-spirited for two wrongs don’t make a right. Thus you shouldn’t react angrily to the feedback for you will regret it later. On the other hand, don’t allow others to injure your self-esteem. So seek clarification, and you will notice that most of the comments that were ill-intended will shatter like rocks under scrutiny. Therefore, it’s always important to set your emotions aside and take a breath before responding.
5. Apologize for Your Weakness
An apology is a clear indication that you can take responsibility and not that you’re evading it. It also changes the situation from a combat mode to collaboration. Further, it delays the critic’s thought to a later day or time.
6. Consider the Suggestions not the Tone of the Feedback
Understand that some people may have valuable critical suggestions, but their tone and style of speaking may hamper the way you receive them. For those reasons, it better to respond to the feedback and not their confrontational manner. Therefore, detach the two items and focus on the useful suggestions.
7. Avoid Taking the Criticism Personal
People tend to feel personally offended when they receive criticism. They perceive it as an attack on their real self. It’s important to realize that you also criticize other people’s jealousy or pride, which is merely passing emotion but not the real person.
8. Smile
Wear a smile even if it’s a false one, for this will help you to relax. A smile will create a positive feeling and lighten the situation. Thus, a smile helps you psychologically and motivate the critic to be moderate in their approach.
9. Act on the Positive Feedback
If someone has given you feedback with a genuine view to helping you improve, and you’re dead keen on doing so, action is key.
For example, if your coach asks you to focus on lifting your hands full during a boxing match, deliberately avoiding any action due to pride will actively result in getting punched in the face further down the line.
Find out how you learn and keep a record of criticisms within your profession or field of interest. You’re receiving cheat codes for self-improvements, and you won’t even lose a PlayStation trophy if you use them.
10. Silence the Critic
You may need to silence the critics once in a while by telling them that you understand that you haven’t lived up to their expectations, but you will do better next time.
You can ask them to give you actionable points in their next comments. The phrase will help them to manage the way they offer feedback next time.
11. Let them Know that You can’t Listen now
Don’t feel guilty about withdrawing from a conversation when you’re preoccupied with listening. Let the person know that you appreciate having the discussion, but not now. Then go ahead and suggest the appropriate time to continue with the conversation. The step will allow them to reconsider or weigh their criticism and make it more meaningful.
12. Speak Your Side of Story
Tell the critic how you feel about the issue at hand. It’s essential to maintain peace with people; however, being overly accommodating to avoid conflict at cost is not the only way out. You can use tact and appropriate timing to speak up your mind. Thus, speak up when you get a chance of being heard for even difficult things can be voiced with kindness.
13. Be Compassionate to Yourself
Be kind to yourself whenever you receive destructive feedback. Give yourself positive self-talk and a treat. Tell yourself that the criticism hurts, but the thoughts don’t define you.
14. Allow Your Feeling
At times feeling hurt or angry is inevitable, and burying your feeling is not helpful. Therefore, speak up or write your feelings; however, let them out creatively and move on.
15. Reduce Your Interactions with Harmful People
The world has different kinds of people, and some thrive off weighing others down. You may cut off interactions with people with a pattern of offering negative criticism. It’s the right time to build your identity by cutting links with such persons.
Bottom Line
You will confront constructive and destructive comments from your family, friends, and colleagues, among others. However, you can deal with criticism successfully by ascertaining its intent, reacting calmly, acting on the feedback, and cutting ties with negative individuals. Therefore, it’s important to learn how to address and filter criticism to live a happier life.
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