I started Meditating in 2012, not because I wanted to get calm or to reduce stress. The fact is, the word ‘stress’ was unknown to me at that time. So, I started practising to discover the hidden secrets of the Universe, to explore the powers within me. But as time passed by I didn’t get anything but losing interest in almost everything viz. friends, love, family, money, career. And stress took over.
The pressure of not knowing anything even after practising it for 5-6 years was enough to make me give up on this purpose.
With this thought, I met my mentor, who was my uncle by relation and when I told him about all this frustration he simply asked me, “Don’t you know our sages practised it for centuries to open the secrets? Then why are you giving up only in 5 years? If you are not getting anything from this then there must be mistakes in your practice. Learn the practice and do it with more determination. Wisdom is naturally present in the mind and will arise of their own accord when the correct conditions come about.”
And it turned it all. I asked him to tell me what could be the possible mistake I was making. And you will be surprised that it was not one or two but many. I have listed only the top 10 common mistakes that can be an obstacle in your growth and that must be avoided during Meditation.
Know Meditation
You can only achieve mastery of a technique when you know it inside out.
The very first thing you must do before starting any practice is to know about it. You can only practice something when you know it thoroughly.
If you don’t know what meditation is, how to do it and what are its benefits, you won’t be able to do it correctly. And if you continue your practice without any knowledge of it, you’ll waste your precious time at best and harm yourself mentally or physically at worst.
So, study it thoroughly. There are a great variety of books, videos, courses by different teachers on meditation. Join any forum, any teacher online and practice with them, know your mistakes.
If you are doing it only to get physical benefit then do it with proper knowledge. I have written all details on Mediation, it’s benefits, duration, styles of meditation in my previous blog, you can check it here.
But if you're doing it for self-awareness, to explore your powers, to awaken your kundalini then wait for a teacher to guide you until then stick with the basic meditation.
Avoid trying too Hard
The harder you try, the farther it goes.
By focusing on the breath gently you give your mind a reference point so that it becomes easy not to distract by your surroundings or your thoughts. The correct condition is to observe you're natural breath and bring your attention back to the breath whenever you find your mind going behind a thought or feeling.
But what people do try to control their breath, that’s completely wrong. You have to observe not to control. Therefore, during meditation, you should avoid changing your normal breathing pattern by breathing heavily or loudly.
However, trying too hard in meditation can cause an inner-conflict in the mind and thus unhealthy consequences may come out. It may cause anxiety at worst rather than improving it.
Avoid expecting anything particularly
Expectations lead to Disappointments.
You read somewhere that being a meditator feels positive, calm all day. You read that you can master your emotions by meditation, you read you will get those benefits that experts talk about. Then let me clear, meditation is a practice to observe your thoughts rather than controlling them.
The experience that people get during meditation may be different for you. If you expect that you will get relaxed by meditation then forget relaxation. If you think you will be able to control your mind by meditation then be ready to experience anxiety.
Forget the feeling you want to experience what your meditation should look or feel like, and allow whatever experience that shows up to be. by your meditation and focus on the process, the practice. Enjoy it and the experience you are getting through it.
Avoid Judging Yourself
Don’t practice meditation to get better at something. Practice meditation to wake up.
When you meditate, persistent thoughts start popping up. Your mind loves to engage in them. But remember you have to observe rather than involving in them. Sometimes your mind gets hijacked by these thoughts. You bring it back to your breath and it goes behind those thoughts again and again.
And here comes the biggest mistake when you start judging yourself for the wandering of your mind and the thoughts it engages in.
You must remember here that meditation is done to explore your mind, the content in it. You should approach yourself with gentleness instead of judging yourself for not being fully involved in the practice.
So don’t criticize yourself – let it go. Self-judgement just takes you a step further away from meditation. Instead, be glad that you noticed you got distracted, and simply bring the attention back.
Avoid avoiding distraction
Embrace distraction and it will leave you alone.
While meditating distraction is a common problem. Not your thoughts, we already have talked about them, but your surrounding noise.
To avoid distraction during meditation, if you lock yourself in a room or use earplugs or may be asking everyone around you to keep quiet before starting meditation then you are making a big mistake. And you get more irritated each time you get distracted by something external. This is because it’s not something external that bothers you but your mind.
Remember, the whole point of meditation is to observe distractions as they occur, and not to be carried away by them. Embrace the distraction and there will come a time it will no longer bother you.
Avoid being inconsistent
Your mind works every day. That’s why your meditation should work every day too!
People generally do meditation to the quick-fix solution. They got pressure today at work so they will meditate today only. They use their mind the whole day. Re-conditioning the way their mind works shouldn’t need consistent effort?
Meditation is not something that you master in a couple of months, it’s a lifetime practice. Remember, the masters meditated day and night for decades to reach where they are. Many of the deeper meditation benefits come only after months or years of daily practice. So, consistency should be your primary focus, for it to make a true impact on your life.
The easiest way to create this habit is by meditating first thing in the morning. If not start with two minutes per day but have the determination to never miss a day, no matter what.
Have a busy day tomorrow? Wake up a few minutes earlier and sit.
Travelling? Close your eyes for 2-5 minutes.
Can’t get enough space at home or office? Meditate in the bathroom or a park.
But do it.
Avoid switching around all the time
Great things take time to happen.
Though it’s good to try different styles or to do a different guided meditation every day yet in the end you must choose a particular technique, and stick to it.
You may work differently with different techniques. So, it’s important to try different techniques until you find the one that works best for you. But while exploring don’t be quick to jump from one to another technique. Because if you do, you won’t be able to know enough about that technique, and there won’t be enough time for its benefits to come to fruition.
Meditation is not the magic cure that could disappear all your stress and turn you into an enlightened being in just a few days, months, or even years. So look for the shifts in the areas of your life, like your quality of sleep, your stress levels, or your ability to stay present in daily life, because these are the areas where you’ll likely see the most change.
However, these benefits are the by-product of meditation, not it’s the ultimate aim. You have to realize that it’s a spiritual practice, and you’ll experience all those benefits. They will come naturally, at no particular time. And by the time you’ll experience them you’ll no longer treat them as “benefits.”
Avoid depending on external aids
Using apps for guided meditation is okay but relying on them is not okay.
As a beginner, it’s very much needed to sit quite for a longer time. And external aids like apps, guided meditation, relaxing sounds are very helpful in directing your thoughts and making you relaxed and concentrated.
However, the purpose of meditation is to face your thoughts, to cultivate the wisdom and insights you have within you. And if your thoughts are being directed externally, you’ll miss out on the opportunity to self-realisation. So, it's better to meditate with only your mind and body.
Avoid consuming too much media
Limits the knowledge you consume.
Today you have to face many challenges that meditators of previous centuries did not have, like movies, news, social media, articles, forums, games, TV, etc.
When you expose your brain to a lot of information, it becomes natural that all these images and impressions will show up when you sit, triggering distracting emotions. This is especially so because most of the media you are exposed to is designed to put you in a state of craving, restlessness, anger or fear.
Therefore, if you want to go deeper during meditation, it’s good to limit the types and amount of media you consume.
Avoid doubting if you are doing it right
Things get clearer with time and practice.
We have discussed the major mistakes one can make while meditating.
But be careful.
There starts the biggest trap.
Becoming aware of all these mistakes can cause you to constantly ask this question during your meditation if you are not making any of this mistake. And it’s okay as we always try to be perfect and avoid mistakes.
But here’s how you should do it: when you sit to meditate forget everything you know about meditation. Yes, you heard it right.
This is the time when you connect with the infinite depth of your inner being. It’s the time when you become one with the universe and break all barriers of separation. There is no right or wrong way to do it.
So you need to let that go and just practice. Time will bring you clarity about the meditation process, as it becomes more of an experience for you rather than something you need to understand.
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